


every now and then I get a little bit nervous (that the best of all the years have gone by)

by TolkienGirl



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Post-Season/Series 03, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 01:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19780279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TolkienGirl/pseuds/TolkienGirl
Summary: Steve, and brutal honesty.





	every now and then I get a little bit nervous (that the best of all the years have gone by)

The smell of burning lingers in the air well into August. You get used to it, because really, you can get used to anything.  
  
“Maybe I’ve got permanent brain damage,” you propose one day. “From all my—daring escapades and shit.”  
  
“It’s honestly more likely that you’re just naturally a dumbass,” Robin says, around a twizzler.  
  
You’re not hurt, but you act like you are. You’re good at acting in either direction; Hollywood’s missing out on a sure thing. “What happened to _dingus_?”  
  
“Keeping it in reserve.”

The Steve of—oh, a long time ago now—would be _thrilled_ that Byers is gone. The Steve of now, though?

If you’ve learned one thing it’s to stop lying to yourself. As best you can, of course. The dumbass thing doesn’t count because you can’t help it. But other than that, you have accepted a future of brutal honesty: Nancy will never come back to you; no basketball stardom awaits you; hell, no college education awaits you.  
  
August has always been a dead month. Only this year, you’ve nowhere to go after it.  
  
You’re largely fine with that.

“Suzie’s coming to Chicago for a school-trip after Christmas,” Dustin says, with a conspiratorial eyebrow waggle. Kid is shooting up like a weed. They all are; Mike’s going to be taller than you this time next year, and that’s just peachy. You’re only freaking out a little.

“You gonna make it up there?”

“I have my ways.”

“Nice going, Henderson.”  
  
  
Actually, you miss Byers a bit. He’s a pain in the ass, bit of a wise-guy, but great to have in a tight Hawkins pinch. He’s going to start in state school, then transfer to NYU like he always intended. So Nancy says. They have almost daily phone-calls, probably. Send each other post-cards and shit. That’s what Mike and El do.

  
Nancy is going to Notre Dame.  
  
“That’s fantastic,” you say. “The whole...Notre Dame thing.”  
  
She smirks, setting a stack of three VHS’s on the counter. One of them is _A New Hope_. “You already knew about Notre Dame, Steve.”

“Doesn’t make it less awesome. When are you—”

“Leaving? A week from tomorrow. Sheesh, I’ve got so much to do. So much crap to load.”

(There was this weird second, makes no sense, where you almost said, _when are you coming back?_ )

(The second is past now.)

“You over her?” Robin asks this, from behind a comic book.

“Hell yeah.” The bells on the door are still ringing in your ears. Maybe your brain wasn’t damaged, but you think one ear was. It’s tinny sometimes. You should ask Dustin. He’s on a medical research kick. “She’s just a friend.”

You hope she’s even that. You hope—

“You over _me_?” Robin grins.

You laugh. “I was never _into_ you. I was just—”

Dreaming. Being a dumbass. Wanting something honest that was less than brutal.

“—on drugs.”

“You can call it a gap-year.” Max slurps chocolate milkshake through her straw. “People do it all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I’m not ask you little shits for _advice_.”

“Then why are you here, Steve? Why are you at our Burger King conclave?”

“You call this a conclave, Henderson?”

Erica pops up behind the next booth. “He calls everything weird nerdy names to make himself sound smarter.”

“You’re not supposed to _be_ here!” Lucas protests, outraged. The hubbub covers up the fact that you have no plan, again.

“I’m serious about the gap-year,” Max tells you, straddling her bike, sneakered feet ready for take-off. “Do some volunteer work. Colleges love that shit. My dad used to work in admissions.”

Max talks about her dad more, now. Talks about everything more, since Billy.

(Weird, going to the funeral of someone who almost killed you, more than once. Weird, but you weren’t sorry to be there.)

There’s a Wheeler barbecue, before Nancy goes away.

“Are you and Robin dating?” she asks. She even holds a burger like she’s giving it purpose.

“Nope.” You need to not talk to Nancy Wheeler with your mouth full, but that doesn’t— _really_ matter, anymore. “Nope, I’m still ladykilling my way all over town.”

“Take care of yourself, King Steve.” She says it with a smile.

That’s the point of the brutal honesty. Taking care of—of business, probably. Even without a future, you have a lot of work to do.

“Not a bad job,” Robin muses one evening, as Keith kills the lights.

“Not bad at all,” you agree, because you can’t see, in your mind’s eye, beyond the grey expanse of next week, but you’re not _unhappy_. 

You can get used to anything.


End file.
